Of Love and Thanks

Drop it...

2009-06-21T15:47:00.000-07:00

If there's one thing I have learned the last several years (over and over again) it's this: there is not enough time to do everything.

Even as I sit here to type this, I think about the things that have not been done today. House work, yard work, that book I'd like to read, those blog posts I'd like to write, volunteer work I would love to do, that business I'd like to start, friends I should call, exercise regime I should get going on, facebook status's to be checked, time to be spent with my loved ones and my Creator.

Really. There are just so many possibilities. There are a million things I could be doing and all of them are praise worthy and good and honorable and some, necessary. However, they are not all possible. Never have been for me, and I'm pretty sure they never will be.

So what's a girl to do? I am pleased to say I have figured out this dilemma that has plagued me for so long. I choose what to drop. Sometimes it's housework, sometimes it's time with friends, sometimes it's everything that keeps me from spending time with my little girl. You see, something on my list is definitely going to be dropped. Whether I like it or not, it's the reality. So I have decided everyday that I will chose what that thing is. And, the hardest part, I admit, is dealing with that thing not being done. I hate a dirty house, but honestly, I would rather have a dirty house than a poor relationship with my family. I would rather not spend time with some friends, than lose the valuable fellowship time with my Savior.

I encourage you today to look at the list of "to-do's" you currently keep. Figure out what really is important to you; it will absolutely be different than anyone else. And drop SOMETHING, if not multiple things. Drop them, and refuse to feel guilty about it... I guarantee you- later in life those trips to the park will mean so much more than a clean ceiling fan, or well-manicured lawn ever could.

Movies

2009-04-29T11:39:00.000-07:00

I am a HUGE fan of movies. To me, there is no better way to spend an evening alone than on the couch watching a movie. That may not seem exciting, but after spending all day at work bombarded with phone calls and emails, then coming home to a wild and crazy 2 year old- it's amazing. And, I'm one of the weirdos that likes to watch movies alone. I've always been a person that appreciates alone time- and getting to watch a movie alone is the BEST! (For me! :-))

Do you ever feel like you have a movie screen inside of you, replaying things that happened in your past, or day dreaming about the future? I sure do. But, often, my screen is replaying moments in my life I'd just as soon forget. Times when something really embarrassing happened, when I screwed up big time, when I opened my mouth and shouldn't have, when people have hurt me, or when I hurt someone else. Those images will pop up and instantly I can feel some of the same emotions I felt when those events actually happened. In the pit of my stomach. I HATE that!

It's obviously important for us to learn from our past, but who says that means we have to be stuck in it? Someone I work with puts it so eloquently... "get your head out of your past!"

I decided that from now on, there is going to be a new movie playing in my heart. One that is lovely, pure, noble, excellent, extraordinary. One that reflects what I want for my future. The person that I want to be, the legacy that I want to leave.

I dare you (I dare myself).... write the screenplay to your new movie. I'm convinced that the more I play my new movie.... the more those old ones will disappear.

Jesus Loves Me....

2009-04-24T11:35:00.001-07:00

This morning on the way to daycare, my little girl wanted to dance. I turned up the radio.... (don't remember the song that was playing)... and we danced. I'm sure the cars around me enjoyed it as much as she did. When that fast, upbeat song ended she said "uh oh- it's over."

But, then she wanted to sing. She started singing Jesus Loves Me. That picture (looking in the rear view mirror) of my daughter singing that song with all her heart will stay with me always.

It makes me wonder if God looks down at me when I sing to him with all my heart, and feels that same swell of emotions??

I have always known how much God loves me, but I never understood (and probably still don't) the depths of that love until my daughter was born. I am truly blessed. Thank you.

Food....

2009-04-22T11:14:00.000-07:00

The other day I decided to fast. I've been reading this great book "The Hidden Power of Prayer and Fasting." This book is so amazing that it made a girl like me want to go 40 hours with no food. That, my friend, is an amazing book. I got to a passage in the book where the author described how fasting humbles you, and how it allows your spirit man to tell your body, mind and emotions whose boss. I just about jumped out of my skin and said... you know what- I'm fasting tomorrow!

I'm not really experienced at fasting, but my experience has taught me one thing. The first lunch that you miss is the hardest. You are SOOOOO hungry. But, I got through it, and then I got through dinner. Then, I was on a roll. Fasting breakfast the next morning was a breeze.

Then, came lunch. Now my fast had officially ended, my spirit man had triumphed. My stomach, however, was ready to move on. I decided to eat something "light" that wouldn't upset me, so I picked up a Jimmy John's sandwich (the deliciousness that was mentioned in the previous post). Yummmmmm.

As I was eating the sandwich, my newly enlightened spirit man got a revelation. God invented food. The whole concept of eating and taste buds was in his design. He very easily could have made us like plants where all we needed to grow and thrive was sunlight and water. But, he didn't. He created us so that our source of nourishment could also bring us some joy. I don't know about you, but good food makes me feel happy. I'm not an over eater or an unhealthy person, but I am a person that loves (and I mean loves) a good meal.... or sopapilla. Only a God an awesome as mine would think of such a detail.

As a disclaimer.... I realize that many people abuse this joy. They overeat, eat junk, binge, purge and try to fill voids in their life with food. That is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about enjoying the simple things in life. The taste of a really ripe strawberry, a warm sopapilla drizzled with honey, and the aroma of a good kitchen at work. What an awesome thing God has given us!!!

Complaints

2009-04-21T11:42:00.000-07:00

I find that I have a lot of things that I could complain about. Every day. My job can be very stressful, my husband annoying (only sometimes...), my daughter frustrating, my co-workers lazy, other drivers stupid..... really there's a lot. And, I've become pretty good at it. I know how to emphasize certain points to make my complaints more legitimate, and I even know which friends are the best to complain to.

However, I thought today about how blessed I really am. I am writing this on my lunch break (which means that I have a job). I just ate a super delicious Jimmy Johns sandwich (number 5 with hot peppers) and drank fresh, clean, cold water. I am in my own office, typing on a computer, accessing the internet to update my blog, sitting in a warm building, living in a safe city.

What the heck am I complaining about?

I figure that there has to be a reason that I am as blessed as I am. It's certainly not because I deserve to be blessed. I did nothing to earn it. I believe that I am blessed in order to give out to those that are not. Am I doing this right now? Sort of. I give, but then I get upset when I can't buy a new purse (which is an issue quite frequently with me). I need to work on that.

So, my first step in all of this?? I need to really realize how much I have to be thankful for. And, in order to do that, I need to stop complaining. Period. Complaining does nothing for me. Sure, I might let off some steam, but do I really feel better afterwards? I might feel justified, but not better. And, really, who likes to hang out with a complainer? I know I don't.

Let's see how long I can go here.... should be interesting.

Strawberries and Shampoo Bottles

2009-02-25T21:00:00.000-08:00

Every night I get to give my little girl a bath... and she loves it. She's always had sensitive skin- so I try not to have bubbles, but that plan went out the window when my mom gave her a bath a week ago. Now, every time, she asks for "bubbles." She's too cute to say no, so I have been putting a little bit of her strawberry scented shampoo in the water....

Tonight I was standing at the bathroom mirror while she was playing in the tub. I looked over at her and noticed that she had poured the ENTIRE bottle of shampoo in the water, which was now milky white. Errr!!! But, I realized that my little girl just wanted more bubbles, not to waste the whole bottle of shampoo and dry her skin out.

So, instead of getting all annoyed I just sat down next to the tub and played with her. I learned two things tonight... One: patience is always better and two: when you pour an entire bottle of shampoo in the bath tub it's very easy to make bubbles, and lots of them. I love the things that I now see because of my little girl....

On a completely unrelated note: I learned how to put spaces in this thing! Sweet!

Jesus Letters

2009-01-01T08:56:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of the new year so many of us are encouraged to set goals/resolutions/wishes (whatever you want to call them) for the upcoming year. I think that's great and all... but I would add something else. Recently, a friend of mine told me about a family tradition that they have. Every Christmas they write letters to Jesus. On Christmas morning, it is the first "gift" that they open and read them aloud. These letters are reflections of the past year. They express thanks for all the blessings of the past year. New friends, lasting relationships, good health, tragedies avoided, and even those little things that could so easily be forgotten.

I thought for this year, that's how I want to start out. I want to think about all the good that I have in my life BEFORE I go thinking about all the things that I want. Don't get me wrong, I have always been a very "goal-oriented" person. But, I have come to realize that I will never get more in life if I can't appreciate what I already have.

Frontline is awesome

2008-12-30T20:59:00.000-08:00

Since I don't have cable, I watch a lot of PBS. I love PBS. I was watching Frontline this evening, and it was about the military presence in Afghanistan. Not getting into any details about the war, the politics, or anything else- I was so thankful. Thankful that there are men and women who are willing to cross oceans and put themselves in danger, even when they don't understand what for. Men and women who would put their lives on the line for mine. Wow. I didn't grow up in a military home, and my husband never joined the service (no matter how much I begged), but I am so very, very grateful for those that serve. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

My Commandment

2008-12-28T18:40:00.000-08:00

I don't particularly like to write. In fact, I'm really not good at it. But, something happened to me on Friday night that so deeply impacted me- I knew I had to start this. Right now, this blog is for me- and only me. Will it ever be for anyone else? Maybe. But that's not why I have started it.

The picture above is from the documentary "Paper Clips." This movie is about a middle school in a small southern town that starts collecting paper clips as a part of a project designed to teach the students about the Holocaust. They try to collect 6 million paper clips to help them grasp just how many Jewish people were killed. It is a touching movie, but the picture above is what hit me the hardest. The child in the picture reminds me of my little girl.

I realized the moment that I saw this picture how thankful I am for my life's circumstances. I live in America- free from the fear of being imprisoned or killed for my religious beliefs, race, or political beliefs. My little girl won't be taken away from me and tattooed because she is different. I was allowed access to free education and I am protected by police and the military. I feel safe driving my daughter to childcare, and sleeping in my home. Do I deserve this? Any of it? No. I did nothing to ensure this. I didn't pick when or where I was born, or who my parents would be.

How can I even begin to be thankful for that? It truly overwhelms me. I cried and cried... and anyone that knows me knows I don't cry. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Let me never take this for granted.

That is why I started this. I want to write this to make sure that I keep those things in the forefront of my mind. I feel like there are two things that I am here to do in this world. One, is to love those around me as much as I can. The other: to be thankful for what I have, and help those that don't. (Like they say in those St Jude's commercials that I can hardly watch). I have two goals for this blog: to express thanks for all the blessings in my life and to discover ways that I can better love and help those around me. Let's just see how it goes...