Movies

I am a HUGE fan of movies. To me, there is no better way to spend an evening alone than on the couch watching a movie. That may not seem exciting, but after spending all day at work bombarded with phone calls and emails, then coming home to a wild and crazy 2 year old- it's amazing. And, I'm one of the weirdos that likes to watch movies alone. I've always been a person that appreciates alone time- and getting to watch a movie alone is the BEST! (For me! :-))

Do you ever feel like you have a movie screen inside of you, replaying things that happened in your past, or day dreaming about the future? I sure do. But, often, my screen is replaying moments in my life I'd just as soon forget. Times when something really embarrassing happened, when I screwed up big time, when I opened my mouth and shouldn't have, when people have hurt me, or when I hurt someone else. Those images will pop up and instantly I can feel some of the same emotions I felt when those events actually happened. In the pit of my stomach. I HATE that!

It's obviously important for us to learn from our past, but who says that means we have to be stuck in it? Someone I work with puts it so eloquently... "get your head out of your past!"

I decided that from now on, there is going to be a new movie playing in my heart. One that is lovely, pure, noble, excellent, extraordinary. One that reflects what I want for my future. The person that I want to be, the legacy that I want to leave.

I dare you (I dare myself).... write the screenplay to your new movie. I'm convinced that the more I play my new movie.... the more those old ones will disappear.

Jesus Loves Me....

This morning on the way to daycare, my little girl wanted to dance. I turned up the radio.... (don't remember the song that was playing)... and we danced. I'm sure the cars around me enjoyed it as much as she did. When that fast, upbeat song ended she said "uh oh- it's over."

But, then she wanted to sing. She started singing Jesus Loves Me. That picture (looking in the rear view mirror) of my daughter singing that song with all her heart will stay with me always.

It makes me wonder if God looks down at me when I sing to him with all my heart, and feels that same swell of emotions??

I have always known how much God loves me, but I never understood (and probably still don't) the depths of that love until my daughter was born. I am truly blessed. Thank you.

Food....

The other day I decided to fast. I've been reading this great book "The Hidden Power of Prayer and Fasting." This book is so amazing that it made a girl like me want to go 40 hours with no food. That, my friend, is an amazing book. I got to a passage in the book where the author described how fasting humbles you, and how it allows your spirit man to tell your body, mind and emotions whose boss. I just about jumped out of my skin and said... you know what- I'm fasting tomorrow!

I'm not really experienced at fasting, but my experience has taught me one thing. The first lunch that you miss is the hardest. You are SOOOOO hungry. But, I got through it, and then I got through dinner. Then, I was on a roll. Fasting breakfast the next morning was a breeze.

Then, came lunch. Now my fast had officially ended, my spirit man had triumphed. My stomach, however, was ready to move on. I decided to eat something "light" that wouldn't upset me, so I picked up a Jimmy John's sandwich (the deliciousness that was mentioned in the previous post). Yummmmmm.

As I was eating the sandwich, my newly enlightened spirit man got a revelation. God invented food. The whole concept of eating and taste buds was in his design. He very easily could have made us like plants where all we needed to grow and thrive was sunlight and water. But, he didn't. He created us so that our source of nourishment could also bring us some joy. I don't know about you, but good food makes me feel happy. I'm not an over eater or an unhealthy person, but I am a person that loves (and I mean loves) a good meal.... or sopapilla. Only a God an awesome as mine would think of such a detail.

As a disclaimer.... I realize that many people abuse this joy. They overeat, eat junk, binge, purge and try to fill voids in their life with food. That is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about enjoying the simple things in life. The taste of a really ripe strawberry, a warm sopapilla drizzled with honey, and the aroma of a good kitchen at work. What an awesome thing God has given us!!!

Complaints

I find that I have a lot of things that I could complain about. Every day. My job can be very stressful, my husband annoying (only sometimes...), my daughter frustrating, my co-workers lazy, other drivers stupid..... really there's a lot. And, I've become pretty good at it. I know how to emphasize certain points to make my complaints more legitimate, and I even know which friends are the best to complain to.

However, I thought today about how blessed I really am. I am writing this on my lunch break (which means that I have a job). I just ate a super delicious Jimmy Johns sandwich (number 5 with hot peppers) and drank fresh, clean, cold water. I am in my own office, typing on a computer, accessing the internet to update my blog, sitting in a warm building, living in a safe city.

What the heck am I complaining about?

I figure that there has to be a reason that I am as blessed as I am. It's certainly not because I deserve to be blessed. I did nothing to earn it. I believe that I am blessed in order to give out to those that are not. Am I doing this right now? Sort of. I give, but then I get upset when I can't buy a new purse (which is an issue quite frequently with me). I need to work on that.

So, my first step in all of this?? I need to really realize how much I have to be thankful for. And, in order to do that, I need to stop complaining. Period. Complaining does nothing for me. Sure, I might let off some steam, but do I really feel better afterwards? I might feel justified, but not better. And, really, who likes to hang out with a complainer? I know I don't.

Let's see how long I can go here.... should be interesting.